Reflections on Motherhood and Mentorship

My dance career and motherhood overlapped with perfection. It was a tightly choreographed transition. Our dancers’ contract clearly stated we were required to give a full year notice if we intended to leave the company for any reason. That might sound unreasonable, but it made sense from the inside. There were tour dates and an Opera in the works scheduled two to three years out. That timeline was stressful for all of us, life outside of the Trisha Brown Dance Company didn’t always align.

I was terrified to ask, let alone sit down with Trisha to discuss my plans. Surely, she would get the pull I had. Although she had the perspective of her own motherhood, I knew her as a fierce choreographer and visionary. I imagined I would be disappointing her, creating disruption. A swirl of fear and imagined conversations persisted.  

Like many of the women warriors I hold with deep respect, passion was Trisha’s driving force - to create, invent and re-invent. She pushed boundaries, pushed us. When I finally sat down with her, she put me at ease. There was a bit of disappointment, but she got it. She encouraged me to consider dancing into my first trimester. It had worked for her. And so it was written. 

 Not too long after that conversation, I arrived at rehearsal with a photo in hand. The company was just gathering around Trisha to check in and get started. I told Trisha I wanted to show her something. It took a minute for her to register what the black and white blob on the ultrasound image revealed. She went into a full body gasp, followed by the most delightful, propulsive scream. It was quintessential Trisha, her expression of joy. 

 For the next three months, Ethan danced along with me as I pushed through the all-day sickness. He's delighted to know this part of his early history.